Essays and Eggplants

Snuff (Chuck Palahniuk, Doubleday) was slightly underwhelming. I'll read it again to be sure, but I wasn't in love with it. If you're a fan, obviously you're going to go out, pick it up and read it, but if you've never read Palahniuk I'd suggest you start with Invisible Monsters or Survivor or Choke. I've started Alone In The Kitchen With An Eggplant, and so far I'm enjoying it immensely. It is everything I was expecting. I like collections of short stories, but I love collections of essays. I couldn't even begin to explain why, especially because I don't particularly care to read non-fiction. Perhaps I just like it in smaller doses. Last night I was talking to Josh, and I mentioned how much I used to love writing. Ten years of engineering school and nothing but technical writing has beat that particular talent out of me, but I certainly miss it. I enjoyed essay writing in particular. What I liked about it was mixing the pragmatic and factual with the creative and subjective. Planning and structuring and building a deliberate collection of words in the most effective manner, designed to convey a particular thought or feeling or opinion. I never could write fiction, even then; my brain is not inventive, but simply narrative. My English teacher in high school, the way his face fell when I told him I'd be attending engineering school instead of endeavoring in more creative pursuits, was maybe one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. Since hearing this, Josh has been really encouraging me to give writing a second chance. Frankly, he's pretty encouraging about everything, all the time, but this topic has really seemed to spark his interest. I'm thinking about it, but I certainly draw the line at sharing anything I write here on the blog (his suggestion), I don't think I could ever do that. I'm an engineer, not a writer after all.

I Don't Even Know Why I Was Watching It

I spent some time Saturday with my mom. We weren't really doing much, she came over, we watched Wild Things on the WB in the afternoon. Needless to say, Wild Things doesn't really translate well to broadcast television, if I were to wager a guess, I'd say they had to cut out a good third of the movie. What was entertaining about the whole experience was how poorly edited-for-TV it was. They'd abruptly cut away from the scene and jump to another one, which left me explaining to my mom that, well, they had to cut that part out because it was a pretty graphic threesome, and this part was really just some gratuitous nudity. Nothing says I love you mom like a play-by-play of some girl-on-girl action.

Sequins

Lately I've been spending a lot of time getting to know a very cute boy. We talk, a lot, swapping stories like a very long first date. He recently brought it to my attention that many of my stories are, ahem, a little bit unbelievable. In my defense, while I do tend to exaggerate a bit, I limit my creative license to things like, "god, I was waiting for like six hours!" or "Seriously, I think I ate a hundred cookies!" Last night I was telling the story of a job I once had as a showgirl at The Rivera casino in Blackhawk, CO, and how ridiculous a job it was. This was not like a take your top off and dance type of showgirl, my duties included holding up those number signs at boxing matches, taking pictures with jackpot winners, and walking around the casino talking to the old folks. He just started laughing, a derisive laugh that indicated he absolutely did not believe this latest tale. So to prove to him that I am not a barefaced liar, I emailed him this picture this morning: Please note that those are not my real boobs, I strapped them on when I got to work each day. In fact, they had sequined bras with various degrees of padding, little padding for the more well endowed, and padding the size of a small child's head for girls with, um, girls like me.

Road Tripping

How cool are road trips, these folks at 50 Bloggers in 50 States are planning a road trip to travel the country, and meet lots of strangers. I'm jealous because I think this sounds really fun, right up my alley. I was also really excited to see which other Colorado bloggers come out of the woodwork, but so far, we're a little slow on the uptake.

A Whole Lot of Random

1. From Monday night's Big Bang Theory on CBS:

There's this farmer, and he has these chickens, but they won't lay any eggs so he calls a physicist to help. The physicist then does some calculations and he says "I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum."

2. I am sort of hooked on this brilliant blog, We Feel Fine

Every few minutes, the system searches the world's newly posted blog entries for occurrences of the phrases "I feel" and "I am feeling". When it finds such a phrase, it records the full sentence, up to the period, and identifies the "feeling" expressed in that sentence (e.g. sad, happy, depressed, etc.).

According to the site Ft. Collins is the world's saddest city but also the world's 5th most loved city. Boulder is the world's loneliest city. Denver is the worlds angriest city. What struck me the most is that even though it varies, when I've visited the most prevalent feelings are usually sad, lonely and guilty. 3. This is really disturbing me: 4. These new advertisements for border patrol that they are now running make me a little sick to my stomach. It's not like someone hung up a sign welcoming your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free...... oh, wait. 5. It's killing me not knowing what he whispered in her ear at the end of Lost in Translation. 6. Speaking of movies, I think I'm going to rent all 6 Star Wars movies and stay in bed all weekend watching them. 7. Apparently a new spin off of 90210 is planned. 8. As is a remake of Dune. 9. Also they made a Cutting Edge 3. Talk about a movie that really doesn't need 2 sequels.

Saturday Night

Tonight I: Watched 2 movies Ate 10 Peeps Drank 1 bottle of champagne And now I think I have a crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal.

It can't really be only 2:30?

I am having one of those impossibly long days... I came in this morning with plenty to do, you could say my dance card was full. That is until I scoured the lab and found all of the ore I needed to run tests on missing. An e-mail sent to the boy who hid them sent at 10 am has yet to receive a reply. We have some clients in from Columbia, and a meeting with them at four or I would just call it a day. The real problem is that now I'll have to process that ore tomorrow. God my job sounds boring.

New Blogs I Like to Read

I use this blog like a journal (although I hold a lot back, it's none of your business), and as a way to share pictures with you guys. I don't consider myself a "Blogger". I'm not trying to be discovered or get a book deal. Let's be reasonable, I'm a metallurgist. By "Blogger", I am referring to the talented writers whose witty, funny, enlightening posts I enjoy. Lots of them I enjoy daily. I know that they have their own blogging community, and I'm not trying to get in on that action. I enjoy this cyber-voyeurism that I partake in, actually I enjoy it so much that I like to share it with you. That's why I have that long list (to the right, there it is), these are peoples blogs that I enjoy a lot, I read them everyday, and sometimes I even work up the courage to leave a comment! There is a method to my madness, I don't just happen upon a blog, think it's kind of funny and add it to my link list, I'm not that easy. Oh no, I bookmark it, audition it if you will, and after a couple of weeks of consistent funny, I upgrade them to my permanent link list. Don't get me wrong, I know this power I wield is mighty, I take that responsibility seriously. I am the queen of my kingdom. Sometimes I feel a little bad about this lurking I do, but what's the point of posting your writing on line if you don't want strangers to read it?

Congratulations Ivory and Jamie!

Big Congrats on the new baby on the way! Check out their new blog for updates, the link is to the right.

Go Rockies!

I know that it's a bad idea to drink and blog, but I just feel like it. I had a great weekend. My plans drastically changed, and I was pretty disappointed, but things turned out great. I have some great pics from the weekend that I'll share tomorrow, and some great pictures from Fun Winter ('06) that I got from Suzie. Go Rockies!

Plus

What the shit does Brittney have against panties?

Ann Coulter is such a bitch. She's got to be satirizing hasn't she?

Why Engineers Don't Write Cookbooks

Chocolate Chip Cookies Ingredients: 1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten 2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite 4.) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride 5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11 7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde 8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein 9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10.) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10) To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction. Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x > 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston’s first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium. Unknown Source

Ack!

I accidentally just e-mailed an ex-boyfriend (whom I don't like) on MySpace. It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. Hopefully it won't reach it's destination.

Midterm

The midterm (Advanced Analytical Chemistry) could have gone better, but it could have gone worse. Considering I am the only person in the class who is not a chemist, I feel like I did just fine. One more midterm next Tuesday, but this one I'm a little less worried about. Today I have a ton of work to do, but it's all flotation, and I could do that in my sleep. I am actually looking forward to turning off my brain today, putting on my i-pod, and just working.

Craigslist

So, I live alone, and I'm kind of lame, but I like to read the missed connections on craigslist sometimes, because they are really funny. And i have no life. Tonight I wanted to share this one with you, ha ha ha ha:

You Preg. Wearing bluejeans & black shirt - m4w

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Reply to: pers-442145691@craigslist.org Date: 2007-10-06, 8:18PM MDT Wow, man, would I love to give you a massage, or a tongue bath...interested??? You were shopping with several family members in housewares, I was the long hair guy wearing all the Rockies gear! theres nothin' better than a pregnant lover!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go Rockies! (Game 2)

So quick post since i don't really have too much to say. First of all, I have a meeting at 2 today which means I will miss at least the first half of the Rockies game. The great thing about baseball is that I can study (I have an exam next week) while I watch, productive hey? First off, yay Hung! TC3 winner. Last night I had a great night. I made dinner, cleaned my room (tonight I'll tackle the rest of the apartment) and watched some TV. I have been looking forward to a new show on ABC called Pushing Daisies, and I was really pleasantly surprised. It was really cute, funny, and I really liked the cinematography. It was very fanciful, and like a children's story. I loved the vibe, and the show was a lot more clever than it could have been. I look forward to more, I hope it doesn't get canceled. Forgive me, but I don't hate Private Practice. The practice itself is kind of cheesy, but I like the characters. I am, of course looking forward to more Grey's tonight. I'm not a good critic, I love the show so much that they can really do no wrong. I take that back, do you remember last seasons afterlife experience episode. Gag me. And to be perfectly honest I'm a little over Merideth, like she's the only person to ever have an absent father, give me a break. The other characters, however, keep me coming back for more. I can't wait to see what happens with Alex. And Christina, and the Doctors McSteamy and McDreamy. I do love a good man-crush.

Hmmm

I spend a significant time alone but I am rarely lonely. I am lonely tonight.

On A Lighter Note

While the Bronco game was a bit dismal yesterday, The Rockies sure gave us something to cheer for. However, the highlight of my Sunday was not sports related at all, but instead came after the games were over. Jill and I went over to her friend Grant's house and they introduced me to Flight of the Conchords. Now I want to sit down and watch all of season 1, as soon as possible.

Post Secret

Every Sunday morning I look forward to reading Post Secret. This week I came across this postcard that someone sent in and I recognized it as something I feel all the time too. Like maybe I'm not smart enough for this, and I am totally out of my depth and any minute now someone is going to discover that I am totally faking it.