Absolutely the best non date ever.

Salsa dancing last night with my friend Jason was the best date I have ever been on. Except that it wasn't a date at all. The dancing was fun and great exercise. I am definitely going again soon. Next time I won't wear a thong. Very distracting. In case you wanted to know. Tonight I'm headed up to Breck to see Kate, tomorrow, Superman Returns in 3-D.

Black and Blue and Pink

Due to technical difficulties (I got drunk in Austin and dropped my camera on the ground) today's pictures are via my cell phone, hence the poor picture quality. However, a little blur shouldn't stand in the way of the mid-week update. You should all be happy to know that aside from my wounded pride, I have no lingering emotional trauma from the worlds second most humiliating dumping (those of you who were there remember the #1 most humiliating dumping, also by Doug in November of 2005). Mostly I just feel like a moron, like I should have seen it coming. Ah well, live and learn. And then get drunk and make out with a 21 year old. Oops. I am just keeping my social calendar really full, and having lots of fun. This weekend my mom walked in the two day, 39 mile Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. My dad, Murphy and I spent our time cheering her on. The first day, she finished the 26 mile leg 102nd , and on day two she finished the 13 mile leg 9th! On Monday, at our softball game I took a shot in the inner thigh while running out a grounder to first. I was safe (you can't tag someone out with just the ball), but took home this nasty surprise.

Last night I went to happy hour after work with my friend Virdi, then met my old sometime-friend sometime-flame Amir and had a glass of wine. Now Amir is short, and I know that, but I am always surprised by just how short he is. Really tiny. I was hoping for maybe a little rebound fling or at least a bit of promising sexual tension, but alas, nothing.

Tonight I am visiting my folks, and tomorrow, salsa dancing with my friend Jason, Dr. Jason (he just defended). Should be fun.

National HIV Testing Day

Thought it might be a good idea to pass on the message. Go to http://www.hivtest.org/ to find FREE testing in your area today.

What a sonofabitch.

I am pretty sure that I was just dumped by default. Because that is a totally appropriate way to end a relationship. Just never call again. Dick.

I'm pretty when you're drunk

The night starts out all right Jill has an admirer The beginning of the end.

Advertising gone awry

I have a problem with advertisers using cartoon mascots to sell their product when it is the vein of the starkist Tuna tuna promoting the consumption of tuna. How wrong on a fundamental level. Are we to assume that the tuna is an advocate of his people as a food source for those higher above him in the food chain, or that he is not self aware enough to recognize the inherent danger to himself by advocating said tuna consumption, although he can talk and flirt and participate in a little witty banter. Austin pics later tonight.

The Lone Star State

I am leaving for Austin in about 2 hours, so I'll have lots of good pics on Monday!

Only 7 1/2 more weeks

I am here to give new meaning to the phrase I hate my job. Booooooo. I am constantly antagonized by this bully (and her father) whom I work with. My boss obviously knows what's going on and blames it on Bully being jealous of me, and I get that, but it is so not my fault that she has no education, a billion DUI's, and no future. I should be able to go to work, mind my own business, and do my job in an environment that is not hostile. Yesterday I wanted to cry. Today I had had enough. Today I was just a bitch. In that really quiet, unassuming way that you can't really put your finger on, but you get the feeling that I think I am better than you, and you don't matter. I hated to do it, but if I have to be there, I am not putting up with that treatment any longer. She backed off. We were so busy (I didn't even have time to take a lunch break of sit down for five minutes), and the client was in town (who doesn't give two shits about what she thinks), and it was 100 degrees in Golden today. I didn't really have the worst day today. And overtime pay is fantastic. The worst thing about working 12 hour days, is getting home so late, it feels like I am just waiting to go back to work. And poor Murph, by the time I get hoe he has to pee so badly he's crosseyed and dancing around the kitchen. Hopefully we'll only be doing twelve's for a week. I actually felt like I had a life this weekend. I made dinner Friday night for my parents (burgers, beers, chips with french onion dip, fancy huh?), then met Tanya in Denver for some dancing. Unfortunately I forgot my cameras, but got these pics were taken by one of those guys who take pictures in bars. I think he had some kind of special house-of-mirrors lens on his camera. This is the worst photo of me ever. I look like a horse. We danced up a storm, and I had the best time. Tanya is one of my most fun girlfriends, and dancing with her is always a blast. On Sunday I went to the Rockies game with Doug and two of his friends I hadn't met before (one is from out-of-town). The grossest thing I saw today: a man, about 45, eating a bunch of grapes, but sucking out the inside of each grape and leaving the sucked out skins in a pile in the middle of the table. One tiny thing that really pissed me off so much that I actually can't stop thinking about it: I asked the guy working at Whole Foods where the bulk bin of whole sugar was located (I don't usually keep sugar because I seldom use it). He replied "It's not good for you". I didn't ask whether or not it was good for me, I asked where it was located. You are a stock boy, not a nutritionist, mind your own damned business. On my grill right now: a peach and a plum. Mmm grilled stone fruit.

Boring post about books

I read. I read a lot. More than most people watch t.v. The thing about me is, when I find a great book, I'll read it over, and over, and it becomes a part of me, a little. I felt like picking up The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, for about the 18th time tonight, and only made it to page 29 before I was reminded why this newish book is one of my favorites. It is about a reluctant sometimes time-traveler (in a completely non sci-fi way) recounting his first time traveling experience on his fifth birthday, when he couldn't sleep at the end of an exciting day at the museum..."I could see lights in the house next door, and somewhere a car drove by with its radio blaring. I stayed there for a while, trying to feel sleepy, and then I stood up and everything changed." I don't know if that short passage affects me so much because I know what's coming next, and I know that everyone who I recommended this to didn't love it (in fact those who didn't love it absolutely hated it), but this book touches me so deeply that not only am I compelled to pick it up for the 19th time, but I am compelled to write this post inadequately describing the way it makes me feel, as I am sitting here alone in my living room on a Tuesday evening. And right now, sitting here alone feels just fine.

New Toy!

How fab is my new grill? Oh, so fab.

Murphy? That's right, best dog ever.

My cat? Looks like an evil genius in photos.

Tomorrow I am going to see the Body Worlds 2 exhibit. I am too psyched. I have wanted to go for months, but I wanted to wait until my foot was better, so I would have a good time walking around.

Mindfuck

Tonight I did what I was never able to do when Doug and I were together. Because I was never able to do it, I always felt insecure, and a little like I was faking it. I never knew where I stood, and I never really went out on a limb for fear that I would be out there alone. We went to dinner tonight, and all of a sudden I remembered why we broke up (at least from my point of view). I remembered I would spend days and nights agonizing, and analyzing what was going on between us. I never really was comfortable being myself. Even now, I am so insecure about being overbearing, that I erase his number from my phone every time he calls me, so I can't call him. Talk about unhealthy. I decided that if I felt like there was enough good there to revive the relationship, that this time I should be as honest as possible. So after a very disappointing date (was it even a date?), I called him and asked him if he liked me. Very fifth grade I know, but I wanted to know if I'm wasting my time. I said I was tired of guessing, so maybe he could just fill me in. He never did. He explained about the commitment he made to running this summer, and he said he really likes spending time with me, and he was going on and on, saying he didn't want to make excuses, all the while making excuses, but never answering my question. So I finally told him my bottom line. I don't think I ask a lot, we don't spend a lot of time together, neither of us are phone people, I just need more than I am getting right now. I can't always be in the dark. I have a limit to what I can deal with, and it's pretty high, but I need some kind of affection. And if he doesn't have the time or energy to make a little room for me in his life, to please let me know, so I can move on. Again. I said take a few days to think about it. I think he hung up on me. That's right folks he's a 33 year old man. And we're right back in junior high.